We’ve been leaving the house earlier in the mornings this week because of the transition to the toddler bed. Greenleigh gets out of bed, comes down stairs, and there’s no turning back – our day has begun. Unfortunately it’s beginning about 20-40 minutes earlier than it normally does, and this mom is not a morning person. Not at all. Let the early bird get the worm, I’d rather sleep in. But since that’s not an option, I’ve been getting up, getting ready, and leaving the house earlier than we normally do. And because of that, we’ve been running into new neighbors that we normally don’t see during our weekday morning routine.
As I was walking out the door earlier this week, one of our neighbors was doing his morning walking. He’s a nice guy, and although I have no idea where he lives in our neighborhood, we regularly say “hi” to each other as he does his morning exercise and I walk Maddie on the weekends. He’s never seen my kids though, only me. On this particular day, Greenleigh and Hazeline were in the driveway while I stayed behind to lock the front door. As the neighbor walked by, Greenleigh said “hi”. The man then said, “Hi. Have a good day little girl.” To which Greenleigh turned and ran away.
It was a bit of an awkward exchange. It seemed that the man initially hesitated in responding to Greenleigh, but there something about how he said “little girl’ made me feel instantly uncomfortable. I know there was nothing to it, but I was suddenly not okay with the fact that my child had talked to a stranger. I then scurried to get the girls into the car and snapped into their carseats, and just wanted to get out of there.
As I drove the girls to daycare, I questioned whether it’s a good idea for her to be saying hi to people that she doesn’t know. Sure, we were in our very safe neighborhood and I was merely steps away when this happened, but that’s not the point. She initiated the contact. She didn’t know him. There are bad people out there. I mean, I’ve never actually taught her the whole “Stranger Danger” concept, but maybe we’re at that point.
On the other hand, I want my kids to be friendly. And saying hi to a neighbor is polite. As I kid I was taught not to trust anyone (ever) and I’m still kind of like that today. As a result, many people find me to be rude, when that’s completely not my intention. I don’t want my kids to be terrified of the world around them (or our neighbors for that matter), but the world can be a scary place.
At what age do you teach kids to not talk to strangers? Better yet, how do you encourage your kids to be friendly and polite while telling them how scary the world can be?
That is such a tough topic. My daughter is very shy, so I don’t really have to worry about her talking to strangers. I taught her not to talk to strangers unless I talk to them first when she was 3 or 4. I also teach this to my preschool students. The hard part is that some people think her shyness is rude when they say hello, but honestly, I kind of like it better this way.
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That is such a tough topic. My daughter is very shy, so I don’t really have to worry about her talking to strangers. I taught her not to talk to strangers unless I talk to them first when she was 3 or 4. I also teach this to my preschool students. The hard part is that some people think her shyness is rude when they say hello, but honestly, I kind of like it better this way.
Found you through the Friendly Friday Blog Hop. Looking forward to reading more of your posts. 🙂
http://www.thatsuburbanmomma.com
that is a difficult situation. I remember an episode on Oprah when a mom had her eight year old son walk up to people and ask them questions..”What time is it?” “Where is —store located?” “What times does the mall close?” She would only be a few feet away, then she would ask him how he felt talking to that person. She was teaching him to be friendly and respectful, but trust his gut. She also taught him what to do if he felt strange about someone. I loved that and try to teach that to my son. If I know, even only at three years old, that he doesn’t wnat to talk to someone or feels weird, I acknowledge his feelings and ask him what we should do. I want him to always trust himself and never feel he has to do something hat he knows is wrong.
That is a hard situation, although I don’t think a discussion about strangers would hurt. I don’t really have any advice on how to approach it with a toddler though. My toddler tells/yells at most strangers that I am her mom (why I don’t know), so for us it isn’t too much of an issue yet. But I can see the importance of them knowing that you have to be careful of strangers.
I have a major issue with this topic. I am a very socialable person. I don’t meet a stranger, and unfortunately, my kids have picked up that habit as well. However, there are a few people who do creep me out and I avoid them like the plaque. I don’t know if my kids have gained the sense to know who is a danger and who isn’t. They are terrible about this issue despite all the teaching we do with them concerning this issue. (My kids are bad at having no fear, and they are both little scrapers who won’t take crap from someone if they did decide to mess with them. My daughter as young as she is no little sweetheart either if you make her mad enough.) I fear this issue a LOT!!! I guess my fear comes from my past a good deal.