Yesterday, my husband brought it to my attention that this will be the first odd-numbered year where we don’t have a baby. Crazy, right? But it’s true. Every other year since 2009, we’ve welcomed a new baby into our family. Each time, I unpacked and packed our stash of newborn sleepers, knowing that those clothes were going to be coming out again in the future…when we had another baby. There was always another pregnancy on the horizon. More maternity clothes, more baby clothes, more bottles and pacifiers. I found comfort in knowing that there were more pregnancies and babies to come.
In fact, I wondered back then if I’d know if I was “done” having kids. I’d seen so many of my friends lament over whether to add to their families after having a child or two and read all too many blog posts from bloggers who were unsure if they were ready to call it quits, I was scared that I wouldn’t know. Or, what if we disagreed? What if one of us declared that we were done, but the other wasn’t? That was a
big huge fear.
And it’s not like the question wasn’t going to come up, because when you have 3 kids everyone (quite literally, everyone) wants to know if you’re done. As enthusiastic as people are when you announce your first pregnancy, and as eager as people are for you to immediately pop out a second child after having your first, they are just as excited to hear that you’re done after having 2 kids.
But now, 6 years after we first added to our family, there are few things that I’m more certain about than being “done”. I confidently reply, “Yes!” when people ask, because we are done…and, surprisingly, I’m not sad about it. At all. Sure, there are days when it hits me like a ton of bricks (I just about cried real tears the day I realized that I no longer have a reason to be shopping in the newborn and infant section anymore), but for the most part, I’m glad that we’re moving forward. I’m excited to watch my little kids grow into bigger kids. I love our family exactly as it is.
In all those years of being comforted by having another pregnancy to look forward to, I never expected that I’d find that same comfort in being done. There’s definitely and somewhat surprising comfort in being done.