Birthday Invite Woes: A Mommy WWYD?

Early last week as I was picking the girls up from daycare one of the teachers said, “Hold on, don’t go yet.  There’s something here for you.”  She proceeded to run back to Hazeline’s classroom and grab an envelope out of a large stack.  As she handed it to me, she said, “I think it’s a party invite.”  It had both of my girls’ names on the outside, which I thought was odd since they are in different classes at school.  I opened it immediately and despite not recognizing the birthday child’s name, checked the date and determined that we were free.  That was it, we got an invitation and the date was free on our calendar – we were going.

But as the date approached, I started to get a little concerned that we wouldn’t know anyone at this party.  And as I started to question my girls as to who the birthday child was, they got a little fuzzy on the details.  The birthday child isn’t in either of my girls’ classrooms (although she and Hazeline may play together at the end of the day when the classes start to get consolidated) and Greenleigh has never spoken of them in the past.  I’ve invited kids to my girls’ parties when I don’t know their parents, but normally my child has a special connection with the other child.  Like when I invited Greenleigh’s BFF to her 2nd birthday party.  She had been Greenleigh’s best friend since they were months old and still are.  It’s common knowledge that they are best friends so it made sense to me to invite her to Greenleigh’s party.  And it wasn’t a shock to me when we received an invite for her birthday a month later.

I know the venue where the party is being held and have been to parties there in the past, so I know someone will direct us to their party room, but it’s a bit embarrassing to attend an event where I don’t know the host/hostess.  And where my kids might not even acknowledge the birthday child.  When I asked one of the people at daycare to tell me who the mom was (so I could meet her in advance) they said they were pretty sure I hadn’t met her.  We didn’t seem to have much in common either.  Hmm.  Problematic.

But it’s a birthday, a joyous occasion that as a parent, you want to share with everyone.  Erajh was barely able to talk me out of inviting Greenleigh’s pediatrician to her 1st birthday party.  Seriously.  It’s a nice gesture to invite someone to a party, and even nicer when they don’t know you personally, right?  Parties are expensive and to be on the list is an honor.  Plus, my kids love parties.  I don’t think it even matters to them who the party is for.  And we still don’t have anything going on that day, other than some car shopping that I’m trying to avoid anyway.

The party is this weekend.  What would you do?  To go or not to go…that is the question.

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11 Responses to Birthday Invite Woes: A Mommy WWYD?

  1. Margaret says:

    Ok thats a bit crazy to me. Seems like they are only interested in getting gifts. But if they kids know about the party, I would say go and have some fun.

    • admin says:

      Good point. I was a bit concerned about the gift grabby-ness of it too. But my kids do know about the party…and they love to party…

  2. Mariah says:

    I would say if the kids know about the party, I would go. But I don’t like just passing out tons of invites. Maybe they didn’t want anyone to feel left out?

  3. krystle says:

    At my cousin’s school, if they invite one kid in the class they have to invite all of them. Even though your girl’s are not in the class of the birthday child maybe the parent’s didn’t want any potential friends/acquaintances to feel left out?

    However, my rule of thumb is that if I don’t know a person well enough to know what to buy I don’t go!

    Let us know what you decide! 🙂

  4. Now that the kids know about it, it might be difficult to miss it. However, my initial thought is that this mom just made up a ton of invites and gave them to the teachers. It might be gift grabbing, but it also might just be over-generosity. Either way, it can’t hurt to go and hope that your kids get along with the birthday girl. If they aren’t having fun, politely thank them and claim you have another obligation. It’s very odd to get an invite from someone not in the girls’ classes AND someone you don’t even know…

    • admin says:

      See that’s why I hate to even suggest that it’s gift grabbing…it might just be a really nice mom who is trying to include everyone. Because I wanted to include everyone for my oldest’s first birthday, so I know what that’s like. You’re right though, they know about the party (at least my oldest does) and we should probably go.

  5. I usually try to make the parties because my kids love to go. But I do sometimes feelpressure that I “have” to go just because I was invited.

  6. Debbie says:

    Not really sure what I’d do in this situation, if my children rarely spoke of the child or acted like they didn’t even know her, I’d probably not go. Stopping by via the Feed Me Friday hop, I’ve signed up for email updates. I have also followed you in all the networks we have in common.

  7. Becca - the ABC kidZ says:

    As an introvert it would be hard for me to go without knowing anyone, but I would probably still go so that my kids could interact with the other kids outside of the classroom. I’m sure they’ll have a blast, and if not then you can always leave early after wishing the host “Happy Birthday”. Keep us posted on what you decide!

  8. I’ve never understood the invite everyone in the world philosophy. I can understand handing out invites to everyone if you are doing it openly in a classroom (who’d want to be the one kid without an invite?) But for me, I think you should only invite people you actual know! As for going to a party that you were invited to but don’t know anyone..I guess I’d leave that to your comfort level. I personally don’t like those situations so I’d probably stay home. 🙂

  9. Christy Ann says:

    My guess would be that they just want to have a big party with a lot of kids, simple as that. And when a party is so big, there is bound to be someone there that you or your children know. Based on the stack of invites, I don’t think you’ll be the only one there that doesn’t know the hosts well. Think of it as a great opportunity for your children (or even you) to make some new friends and have a good time!

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