I never wanted my child to have a pacifier (more commonly referred to as a “paci” in our house). I thought they were gross and vowed way before I was ever a parent that my child would never have one. But that’s the funny thing about parenthood, I guess. When you are in the trenches, especially in the early days/weeks, you will do anything to make your baby happy. Even use a “gross” pacifier. And the fact is, the pacifier did make Greenleigh very happy as an infant. And so the love affair began.
It all started one night when she was 4-5 weeks old and there was literally nothing Erajh or I could do to soothe her. I thought, “Wait, there has to be a pacifier in this house somewhere. Let’s try that!” I had purchased several kinds before Greenleigh was born, but the nurses in the hospital pretty much convinced me that they were the devil’s creation and insisted I not use them. Okay, the nurse didn’t actually say “devil’s creation”, but I was forced to listen to a 10 minute diatribe about how bad they are and denied one when I tried to insist. I scrambled around the house, leaving no stone unturned until I finally found one. Erajh and I looked at each other when we gave her the paci, both unsure that this was the road we wanted to go down. But it was instant bliss and she looked and sounded a little like Maggie Simpson (for some reason that was adorable to us at the time), so we decided to let her have it.
I promised myself it was temporary. You know, just until we got to the 6 month mark where babies are supposed to calm down a bit and be able to play happily on their own… But of course, that didn’t happen. Around the one year old mark, the teachers at daycare began taking her pacifier away during the daytime and only giving it to her for naps. They told me that they didn’t want her to get too attached to it. No, that would be terrible, I thought.
When I was pregnant with Hazeline, I pledged that although she might need the paci at first, we would be getting rid of it by the time she was 12-18 months old. I vowed never to find myself this dependent on a little piece of plastic ever again. But then Hazeline surprised me and didn’t want the paci at all. And trust me, I tried to get her to take it. I’m convinced that Greenleigh slept better than Hazeline ever has because she had a paci and Greenleigh did not. And on a few occasions, giving Hazeline a paci will get her to sleep an extra hour or two. Hey, I’ll take whatever I can get. Then I realized it – I’ve become a paci pusher.
I know that the paci needs to go, but it just never seems like the right time to get rid of it. At 6 months she was still too little. By a year, she was a little older, but wow did it help us get some sleep. And at 2 years, I felt that she had so much change going on due to Hazeline’s arrival, that I didn’t want to shake up her world too much. I promised 3 years old would be it. I even talked with Greenleigh in the weeks leading up to her 3rd birthday about how the pacifier was going to go away soon. We talked about how big girls don’t need pacis. But when her birthday came and it seemed cruel to take it away. It was her birthday, after all. And then we had company for a day or two after that, so of course I couldn’t take it away then. That would have been a nightmare. And then the days passed. And that turned into weeks. And soon it was just easier to put it off than to just do it.
So now she’s 3. Well more exactly, she’s 3 years, 3 weeks, and 4 days old. Still sleeping (nighttime and naps) with a pacifier. I absolutely dread when a new babysitter comes over because I know that I’m going to have to explain that my 3-year-old is obsessed with her pacifier. Immediately their eyebrow goes up and I know exactly what they’re thinking. It’s the same way I used to look at those parents dragging their preschoolers around the mall with pacis firmly in place. I used to judge those parents. Hard. What preschooler needs a paci anyway? I suppose the answer is – Mine. Or at least, she thinks she needs it.
I need to rip off the band-aid. It’s time. But, but, but…the thought of going cold turkey is just so scary…for me. Any tips or tricks for getting rid of the pacifier? Especially for a child that is a little, um, older? Anyone have an easy experience getting rid of the pacifier?
I am sooooo with you. My sone is almost three and is obsessed with his paci. I have a 14 month old and one on the way, and can’t figure out a good way to do this. It is the only thing that he is attached to…
Ugh,.. the joys of parenthood.
Goodluck!
Thanks! It’s just scary because it’s the first thing she looks for at night and has problems parting with it in the morning.
Good luck to you too!
My mom swears that just throwing it away is the way to go, but I am in no way that brave. My son is almost 18 months old and we are trying to at least start the process of having it for naps and bedtime only. Good luck and please pass along what works for you. I know another mom that is having the same struggle with her almost 2 year old.
I was lucky enough that my son gave up his pacifier at around 9 months. He would suck on it for a few seconds and then throw it. When I was a teacher in the toddler room it was easier to break the children of their pacis because something was going on all the time. If you do have a babysitter come, would your daughter do better with her about not wanting it? Meaning that if the babysitter comes over and she doesn’t give your daughter the paci she would be ok with that? I think it depends on the child if you can do it cold turkey.
Our first is due in Sept this year, and just recently my husband and I had a discussion about pacifiers. He sees no issue with them, and I of course am being the over-analyzing mother-to-be – considering all the cons. Thanks for your perspective on this!
Don’t get me wrong, a pacifier can be a beautiful, wonderful thing that will introduce you to hours of sleep that you thought you might never get again. Somehow they are able to soothe kids in ways that we as moms, cannot (for some kids at least – like I said, my second isn’t a paci baby at all). I guess it’s just a matter of when to get rid of it. I waited too long…obviously. I wish I had been braver sooner. But like some ladies said on the facebook page, they aren’t going to go to college with it.
My daughter is 2.5 and for a while we were only using it for naps and bedtime and then she got sick and its been nonstop. She will sometimes wake up at night looking for it so I just can’t take it away yet. I’m with you, if I can get a little more sleep, I’m all for it
Ah, yes. You are not alone. Greenleigh will wake up in the middle of the night looking for it and will scream until she finds it. She’s normally so hysterical that I have to go in and help her look for it. I’m concerned that the night I finally cut a hole in it or take it away, she’ll be in hysterics all night…of course, I know that’s not true, and she will eventually go to sleep but how much sleep will I lose. I really don’t have much to spare, you know. 🙂
Stopping by from the blog hop. I used a pacifier on very rare occasions with my kids. I was fortunate that they really never needed them. I know a mom that had her daughter give the pacifier to a pregnant friend “for the new baby”. It made her daughter feel like she was in control I guess. You can visit me at http://www.lovebakesgoodcakes.com …. Have a blessed weekend 🙂
Ohhh – the pacifier.. another tool to make us moms have something to feel guilty about. lol
I’m also dreading taking away the soother.. somehow at 2yrold my son has manipulated his way into using it at bedtime which he didn’t go the 1st year and half of his life.. Now that he can actually say “sou-sou” there is no way to “ignore” what he’s asking for.. yikes!
Yeah, that’s exactly the problem – she knows what she’s looking for, what it looks like, and what it’s supposed to do. On FB a few people gave the suggestion of cutting a hole in it so it would be “broken”. That maybe the way to go for us. I don’t think the whole “Paci Train/Fairy came and took it to needy babies” will fly in our house (although it might have when she was 18 months, and I just missed the bus on that one).
LOL, We had the “binky fairy” come on the night my oldest’s 3rd birthday. She went around all day picking up all the binky’s and putting them under her pillow. At bedtime she requested one last night of binky sleep, I allowed it. The next morning she got up, checked under her pillow and the bed (to make sure none of them fell) and never asked for it again. LOL One of my favorite memories 🙂
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-Desiree’
Life with our Family
I do not miss the “binky” days
so hard when it’s time to give it up
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~heather
Oh I am right there with you. My little girl will be 2 in a week and still has a suckie. She only gets it in bed, no exceptions, so at least we made progress there but I dread the thought of taking it away from her permanently…….
Also from the blog hop 🙂
Oh mama I wish I could help you! I took the paci from my first child at 7 months- talk about cruel!! for me and him! My second child never took to it.. As much as we tried and tried.. It’s hard but you can do it. If you have many paci’s just start throwing them away.. Explaiin to baby girl that she lost them and they’ve left to Paci-land or another cute name. So either she keeps up with it or they all end up leaving.. I’d make up something about the pacifier business going under too.. =) They’ll believe you!
Hopping by from the Friday Blog Hop! Great read!!
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The pacifier was a huge source of discussion around here. With kid #1, we took it away for everything but diaper changes and car rides at age 1 (she hated those two things so it just made it easier to give in). At 2, it disappeared for good.
With my youngest, we have gone on a bit longer with it. He gets a lot more than my daughter did at his age (almost 2) and I don’t see it going away at 2 either.
It’s a hard thing to work with. On the other hand, a family member never gave her kids pacifiers so they suck they fingers/thumbs…can’t take those away ever! So, their 8 year old still does it.
Thanks for stopping by and linking up to the Feed Me Friday Blog Hop!
Sigh, no advice here. I gave it to my daughter until she refused it. She never liked it very much, much to my displeasure. But I guess it’s a good thing in the long run. I did get rid of her bottles with a big thing about her becoming a big girl. We went shopping for a big girl present, basically telling her she could trade her bottles for any toy she wanted. That seemed to help. Good luck! 🙂
We went cold turkey with the pacifier on our son’s third birthday. I just left it downstairs and when he was asking for it, I just said it’s downstairs and we can get it later. It became out of sight, out of mind after a few days and we are now “satiwire” (his interpretation) free
We told my first son at 1 yr that “the dr. said” we had to take the paci away. Total lie, but it worked! He never asked about it again, no tears!
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