“Bad” Words

As the last of the guests were leaving Hazeline’s birthday party this weekend, a dollar bill was found on the sofa.  I questioned where it came from, and our friend Greg (more commonly know by my kids as Uncle Greg) told us how he happened to walk up to a conversation between some kids during the party.  One the kids, who’s a friend of Greenleigh’s from school, immediately covered his mouth, looked at Greg, and said, “Don’t tell my mom, okay?”.  Truthfully, Greg had no idea what the little boy had said, but he thought he’d have some fun with him.  So instead of saying “No problem little kid, I’ve got you.”, Greg replied, “I won’t if you give me a dollar.”

Okay, I know what you’re thinking – You’re thinking I should reassess my friendships.  You’re wondering who wants a dollar from a little kid.  Why are my friends bribing 3 year olds?  But see, here’s the thing – “Crazy Uncle Greg”, as he’s sometimes referred, doesn’t have kids.  Which of course only makes him more interested in how funny their little reactions can be.

So without further delay, Greenleigh’s schoolmate went over to his mother and asked for a dollar.  To which she responded, “Why do you need a dollar?”  After almost giving himself away, she apparently gave him the dollar.  And all was forgotten until the end of the party…but by that point the little boy and his mother had already left.  I was half mortified and half engulfed in giggle fits when the story was relayed to me.

On Monday morning when I saw the boy’s mom I was determined to fix the situation.  As I held the door for her and her son, I casually mentioned, “Oh, and by the way, I owe you a dollar.”  I relayed the story to her and was surprised that she already knew most of it.  “Did you know what he said?”, she inquired.

Um, well, no.  That was the one part of the story that no one knew.  Not even the bribing Uncle Greg.  I shook my head.

With a very cross look on her face she replied, “He said ‘Aww…heck’.  Can you believe that?  I asked him why he would say something like that and where he even heard it.  He told me it was one of my husband’s friends.  I’m going to have a talk with him when I see him.”

I nodded my head, trying to act as horrified by his language as she clearly was.  But here’s the thing – I wasn’t horrified.  Or surprised   Or mad.  Or…well…any of it.  Heck?  Really?  Since when is that a bad word?

Because let’s face it “heck” is me censoring myself.  We’ve had incidents where my kids say actual bad words, and I knew that when the did it, they learned it from me .  And because of that I work hard everyday to make sure bad words don’t slip out of my mouth.  But, um…”heck” is one the words I use instead of a real bad word.  You can’t take that word from me.  It’s a great replacement for “hell” or “damn”, which I still don’t find to be the worst of the bad words.  But to her, this was an embarrassment   It was  unacceptable.  It was going to be dealt with.  I, on the other hand, would have been proud that my kids used that as an alternative.  I was suddenly glad that she didn’t spend more than 2 hours at my house.

As much as I laughed it off to my husband, this occurrence has highlighted how different we as adults classify “bad” words.  For example, sometime during the fall, Greenleigh came home singing Gangnam Style.  She then asked me if “Gangnam Style” was a bad word.  After she sang it 50+ times, of course.  I know that the name refers to a city in Korea and didn’t think it was bad.  I wouldn’t show her the video, but the song?  I can barely understand it.  No problems.  I told her it wasn’t a bad word, but maybe she shouldn’t sing the song quite so often (for no other reason than that it was driving me crazy).  And all was fine until she came home to me a few weeks later letting me know that her teacher says that “Gangnam Style” is in fact a bad word.  She the looked accusingly at me, wondering how I didn’t know this.  So I took notes and added that word to the bad word list.  A list that also includes dumb and Lady Gaga (coincidence?).  And yet, I’m pretty sure that she’s now singing a variation of the Harlem Shake…I’m waiting for that too to become part of the bad word list, but no such luck…yet.

I want to stay on the same page as her teachers at school.  I really do.  I want us all to have the same standards, but it’s hard to keep up.

So what do you think?  Is “heck” a bad word?  Would you be upset if your 3 year old used it?  How about Gangnam Style?  Is that a bad word?

This entry was posted in Family and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.