When you have an infant, you often find yourself telling them about things that are going to happen – attending playdates, their birthday party, or maybe a special visit from a close friend or family member. In a way you are trying to get your baby excited about the event, but you know deep down, that’s not really possible. After all, they’re a baby and don’t really understand. Sure, they might pick up on the tone in your voice or look at you sideways when you proceed to clean your house from top to bottom (Wait, is that just so outlandish in my own home that it gives my kids cause for alarm? Oh, okay then.), but they don’t understand the words that are coming out of your mouth.
But once they hit toddlerhood, you expect them to start getting excited about things. For two years I tried to get Greenleigh excited about things. I could tell her about a party that we were going to attend over and over again, but when the day came it was as if it were a surprise to her. She would have a great time at the party, but there was no excitement in the days before or on the morning of. No build up. No anticipation. And then my friends would talk about their kids who were around the same age and how excited they were about grandma’s visit or their birthday party, and I would wonder why my child doesn’t show those emotions. Was she so “over it” that she wasn’t going to get excited about anything, ever? Did she think that she had already seen it all at the tender age of 2?
And then one day, it just clicks. This day happened recently for us. Much later than most of my friends kids around Greenleigh’s age, but it did finally happen. At the beginning of June, we were invited to a birthday party for one of Greenleigh’s best friends at school. Greenleigh saw the invitation right away and somehow knew it was a birthday invitation. She asked if we were going to go and I said, “Of course!”. Too bad, there were 2 weeks until the party actually happened, and wouldn’t you know, Greenleigh asked each and every single day when that little boy’s party was going to be. First thing every morning she would ask if it was time for the birthday party. And each night when I tucked her in, she would ask if the party was going to be “a-morrow” (Greenleigh’s version of tomorrow). It was getting tiring explaining it over and over again.
But as the day of the party grew closer, my husband and I realized that we had tons of other things to do that particular day and the party was late in the afternoon on a Sunday, a time typically reserved for my husband to work and me getting things ready for the kids for the next week. So we considered skipping the party. Surely, they wouldn’t notice that we weren’t there and we could probably just send a gift to daycare on Monday. Besides, we never RSVPed. But Greenleigh was excited. She would be upset if we didn’t go. She would demand answers. So we went. And it was fun, but if not for the anticipation factor, we probably would have skipped it.
Now that Greenleigh’s going on field trips with daycare on a daily basis, the anticipation in our house has hit a whole new level. Like the level where she doesn’t want to go to sleep because she’s so excited about going on the bus the next day. Then she wakes up extra early, so the bus doesn’t leave her behind. It leaves between 1-2pm, but she’s convinced it’s going to leave her.
So as it appears, I just didn’t know how good I had it. No anticipation meant no constant questioning. No let down in the event that we couldn’t or didn’t want to attend. Why do I always realize these things too late? I was living a blissful existence and had no idea. To all those on the other side of the fence trying to get your kids excited about upcoming events – I promise the grass is not greener. Enjoy where you are. Hazeline may never learn of upcoming events…ever.
In all seriousness, it’s not that I don’t want Greenleigh to get excited about things, because I do. It’s just that I can’t handle the incessant reminders for weeks leading up to the event. Or the sad eyes when something we said was going to happen, doesn’t actually happen. And the late bedtimes and early wake up times are killing me. Surely, there must be some middle ground between “over it” and excited-ville.
How do you keep anticipation in check with your toddler/preschooler?
My 19-month old doesn’t anticipate much. I tried to get her excited about feeding ducks at the pond. She just stood there, unimpressed, eating their bread, behaving as if having a dozen little creatures around her legs was an everyday thing.
I guess I’ll keep enjoying the non-anticipation era. Good luck keeping Hazeline in the dark.
I always used to tell my daughter about things we would do, but she’d never get excited unless something was actually happening. Now, it has clicked for her too, and I had to make a rule where we don’t tell her things ahead of time!